The_Grimwitch_Chronicles

This is a chronicle of a young woman who has chronicled her life in notebooks she had made herself and suddenly discovered the availability of Blogs and how she could share a part of her secret self to the virtual community.

5:51 pm

An Illicit Affair

Posted by Leto of Blood



My Uriel has been nagging me for the longest time to resume working for the profession we've sweated blood and tears in college to practice: Pharmacy. After we've passed the boards, we have tied the knot with it.

Like a wife that needs to be monetarily benefited, I pay the PTR every year - just in case I felt like practicing again...and renew the license regularly very 3(or was it 2?) years so I could be updated at the PRC (Professional Regulatory Commission). He's irritated that I kept borrowing (not that often!?) money from him for that...which he thinks illogical and a waste of money.My mind agrees with him completely. Why not? The government earns money off me more than I earn from my "profession".

Ever since I got my license, I've been paid for pharmaceutical positions a little over than the basic pay for ordinary employee...which is an injustice, considering that rank and file employees do not undergo rigid evaluation after they graduate (like taking the board exams, for instance!). Pharmacists have to worry themselves about documents for the Bureau and other government agencies (which involve a lot of PR and diplomacy to get things done without That fact disillusioned me from the practice of pharmacy.



Like a mistress waiting for an opportunity for the tempted to succumb to her charms, I fell for the practice of Education. I was in between jobs when I was invited by one of the popular health science colleges in manila to be their lecturer for a semester. They've been short of professors lately and since they think I'm qualified for that, they've been bugging me since. So I gave in.

I taught senior and junior students of pharmacy all the pharmaceutical sciences I've learned from the practice and of course what I learned when I was in college. I never realized what power I hold in molding the minds of my future colleagues - they were awed by the fact that they've been taught by a board exam topnotcher (which I never flaunted, or thought of as anything special.) I was easily popular with the students because I have made it my personal mission to teach only what can be useful in actual practice.

Like all relationships, my mistress gradually showed her true colors as the one-semester contracted ended and was renewed to a full teaching contract (one whole school year). I began to feel the professional jealousy of my co-professors who are much older and definitely more experienced than I am. There were smattering of intrigues and subtle bribes offered by my students. I was getting noticed adversely by the conservative administration for my radical teaching styles. I got tired of handling many students (imagine, 1 class will have an average of 80 students!). I was overworked beyond compare...It took one big fight with my beau boi before I finally realized I needed to strike a balance somewhere.

I quit my teaching job there and drifted from one teaching job to another. I taught middle school, Koreans, Japanese, Chinese, high school students, post-college students...It was exhilarating how I managed to get into my student's psyche and teach them what they ought to know. But still, I'm getting rustier and rustier in Pharmaceutical Science.

Despite of all the teaching I did, I neglected the profession that I swore to practice till I die. It took me a failing grade in the APEC to realize that...much to my disappointment. It humbled me to a point that I had to be a pharmacist again. So...I struck an idea: MOONLIGHTING.

I looked for a job as a pharmacist for a food supplement shoppe in a nearby mall in the afternoons and taught in the morning at a nursing college. It enabled me to enjoy the best of both worlds. I work part time for 20 hours a week in the college while I have 50 hours a week in the shoppe. Although my husband and I split the household bills, I earned enough for my (and his) luxuries and debts.

It's a fun experience, although some of my friends caution me that it's exhausting (which is true...imagine rushing from one place of work to another) and that it might limit my chances of bearing and caring for children-to-be. Uriel and I take it in stride...we're not much of a hurry for anything.

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4:16 pm

Traditional Filipino Halloween

Posted by Leto of Blood

I went online today and chatted with my students who are scattered out of town, celebrating the Halloween season with their families. I agree that they deserve a break...after all, when I see them next semester, they'd definitely return to their former selves: dark circles under their eyes, dry skin and gaunt faces. When I ask them how they celebrate Halloween, I got similar answers. Someone said that they went to the mall to shop. Another went to the beach with friends. Somebody went to the cemetery to sell candles and flowers or paint tombs. It's either a variation of any of these answers.

It saddens me to think that the youth of today's Philippines does not practice what had been ingrained in our culture from one generation to the next. I think the government knows that Halloween is a lame excuse for local tourism or semi-reunions that it never extended October 31st (as what local employees expected)as non-working legal holiday this year. Though there is still the usual influx of people visiting their dead relatives in the cemeteries, may it be in the provinces or in the city, traditional celebration is not observed as usual.

I saw children in the mall line up in the activity area, wearing masks or face paint. They all want to "trick or treat" the participating mall tenants. There are specialty shops that sell latex masks galore, all Halloween trinkets imaginable, sound cards that emit blood curdling clips to scare unwary strangers, candles of all sorts of molds and scents, costumes of fairies to ghouls, styrofoam bones and wigs of all colors and cut. It's blatant commercialism at its best.

What happened to the days when the youth would, at the eve of Halloween, help their parents cook rice cakes to offer for their dead ancestors and the lost souls that would come and visit them? On the feast of All Soul's, the young would form groups that would go from house to house doing "pangangaluluwa." It's the Filipino version of Halloween carols. These carolers will pretend that they are hungry,lost souls that has just come out from the gates of heaven.They will beg the owner of the house for food.If the owner of the house disregards their pleas, these carolers will steal the owner's chicken or vegetable. At the stroke of six,it is traditional for the whole family to light candles at the entrance of their house,the altar and the table where the feast for the dead is laid out. The whole family will kneel in front of the altar and pray for the souls of their departed relatives and friends. After the long prayer is over,the family will eat rice cakes like biko, suman and kalamay. The elders believe that the dead likes to eat sweet and sticky rice cakes. It is believed that before the break of dawn,these souls will return to heaven. The next day,the whole family will visit the cemetery to clean the tombs of their relatives. They will cut grass and weeds that surround the tomb, sweep it away and eventually paint the tomb white. After the paint has dried out, they will light candles and offer colorful flowers for the dead. They will whisper a short prayer so that its soul will achieve eternal rest.

I understand that many young people I know are too preoccupied to care about traditional Halloween practices. But won't it be much better if we, older people, pass on these traditions to the next generation? How can our culture exist if we do not safeguard it in the future?

If you ask me where I'll be spending my Halloween, it would be with my family. My siblings have planned a get-away to Baguio for the holidays. We're leaving tomorrow night, leaving our parents behind, to attend to the mundane world of local politics.

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2:29 pm

08. Turn of the 3rd Decade of Existence

Posted by Leto of Blood

In retrospect,I think 2006 has been a year of delays and stresses for realizing my true potential. It had been a year of separation for my family - separation from my brother, Body; from memorabilia that celebrated milestones in our lives; from clothes and other stuff that were unknowingly stolen during renovation; from our previous lifestyle. We all had to adjust to my mum's retirement, my new sister-on-law, our new business, and our financial situation.

The first quarter had been the usual routine - working hard to earn enough to pay for utilities and some money to spend for little luxuries (like silver jewelry, shoes, bags and hair accessories). We had a new business venture, a canteen launched before my birthday, that will ensure that my family eats for more than three times a day - something that we were never brought up on. Food had always been scarce for us when we're all in college since we don't eat breakfast for fear of being late for school, we eat very little lunch because we need to save enough money for school expenses and we can't really eat a decent dinner because we're too tired to eat at midnight and would rather sleep or do something relaxing. Along with that canteen came the new house helps, who are either weirdly psychotic or with awesome attitude problems. Body got married in church on a Valentine's day. Before the wedding, we had to ask our relatives to help out with the food and other expenses because we can't afford a grandiose wedding that they have been hankering for. My mum spent most of her money on computers (the one I'm using now), printers, copiers and mobile phones. She busied herself on the canteen, organizing files and of course, cooking food when we got fed up hiring cooks!

The second quarter had been tiring for me since I was working for 48 hours a week for SMCSJ and WJA. Added to that was the stress of my mum preparing for her long awaited trip in the US and Canada. She has been working for so long that going to that place is one of her achievements in life. Living with strangers (the house helps) is an adjustment that we all had to make. My dad, with his sarcasm and ironic sense of humor, have been making it difficult to make these house helps stay for more than a month. It's hell when I have to start training new personnel for the canteen every other month. I'm thankful that my boyfriend can put up with my tantrums during these times. I know how I can be such a pain in the ass.My boyfriend and I celebrated our 9th year of Visita Iglesia, with prayers and hopes of a brighter future for the both of us. When my Bo's birthday arrived, it felt so weird celebrating it without him. He was my pet, a frequent recipient of "blessings" from me (free cinema tickets, occasional fine dining, clothes, shoes, bags, etc.) and he was gone. I think I've been jealous of his new family because I had been his confidante and adviser but now, I'm a deleterious sister he despises like pestilence. He has changed and he has aged. I miss my brother and I hate to see him live his life like that.

Third quarter was the most traumatic period for me and my siblings. With my mum gone and having fun somewhere in North America, we have to put up with the recent renovation of the house, the business space and managing the canteen. Most of our stuff are (still)wrapped and hauled on a makeshift trailer. Then, major devastating storms, thieving construction workers, and nasty pests destroyed our precious possessions and along with it, memories when we had a normal life. We had to sleep on hammocks because the floor is flooded and slippery.We had to be content with modest clothing since we can't choose what we want to wear and some have already been stolen by the construction workers who are working on our house. I also had to contend with my father asking money for construction costs and balancing the budget for other house utilities. I was forbidden to tell my mum really bad stuff about what happened to our books, pictures and memorabilia since it would definitely break her heart and her savings. My boyfriend and I busied ourselves getting documents to migrate to Australia for good. We both plan to get married a year after staying there and saving up for the wedding of our dreams.

The last quarter was a little better than the horrendous previous quarter. My mum returned from the Americas with souvenir photos, lots of clothing from relatives and friends, chocolates from duty free and a little poorer than the usual. We had to put up with her endless stories about life in the U.S. of A and Canada. She liked her stay with friends and relatives. She would've stayed if she got hired there. It would've been better that way because when she got back, she saw the house is total chaos. We all thought she'd break down, luckily, she did not. She took it in stride. She managed to pull off a successful hermana mayora -ship of the parochial fiesta and still live off her pension from the bank. Our Christmas and New Year's Eve aren't that grand as with our previous years. My sister and brother's family didn't spend them with us, which caused my parents to feel a little lonely without them. My married siblings tried to make up for that by being present at reunions and family functions during the holidays. However, it breaks my heart to see my parents' eyes linger longingly as their cars drive away and my nephews waving like there's no tomorrow at their grandparents sitting under the mango tree.

They say I'm lucky to have the gift of foresight, to tell what the future holds with a flip of my contraptions(tarot cards/runes/dice), to be receptive to changes...but am I Fate that can truly dictate what destiny lies in wait for this year? I am, like other mere mortals, pray for a better tomorrow while savoring today and learning from the past.

Numerology states that I'm lucky this year since it's my 30th year. I'm a Fire Snake and a mutable watery Pisces...contrasting fortunes are predicted for me. All I know is that my choices affect the fate I hold.

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6:13 pm

07. Caste System of Siblings by Birth Right

Posted by Leto of Blood

It's been a long time before I have ever managed to update my blog. I guess I'm too busy working. Too much of it made me a dull witch. Why so? I have this very bad habit of bringing work home and it disrupts everything that I intend to do when I get home.

I think I'm luckier than most of my siblings because I was never told to do any chore at home. Nothing is expected of me. I come home whenever I please, play with my dogs or just stay in my room after coming from work. I'd eat after I have cooked whatever I want. I take it as privilege of being first born. My youngest brother would always complain how I get away with it. For example, my dad would ask me to take out the trash. I would look for someone other than my sibling to do it for me, like the housemaid. If no one is around, the youngest sibling that I'd see would do it for me. In our house, I do the light stuff: massaging my mum's forehead until she sleeps, combing my dad's gray hair until he sleeps, giving "reality checks" to the nuisance that surrounds any of my family members, going to the bank or paying the utilities (credit cards or phone bills). I think that's the benefit of working hard - you have enough money to pay for the life you want to live.

That's what I always say to my youngest sibling, especially when he complains about the injustice of it all. But I try to make up for all his hard labor and patience. We often go out to eat, especially on pay day. When he decided that he does not want to have the typical "Saint Clair" tummy - bulging even in famine, he got into buying tight fitting shirts so that our other brothers won't bother to wear it.

Right now, I'm very happy that we have an internet connection that will enable me to blog all my free hours at home. Hooray!

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6:30 pm

05. Retro-Shopping and Etiquette

Posted by Leto of Blood

When I was a child (way back in the 80's), our mum usually takes me and my siblings to a popular spot (the term "mall" wasn't that popular during those days...but yes, it was a mall prototype) in Makati every weekend after church or medical/dental check-up. It's either to shop for stuff that we'd be using for school the coming week or dine at restaurants that were usually featured in high society magazines or buy food or other supplies for the household.

At first, I thought it was the norm for parents to bring their children to social spots but as we grew older, mum made us feel it's directly proportional to their income. That means, if dad doesn't send us (that time, my dad was on the forefront being an OFW in Libya working for Ericcson Telecoms) more that enough for the household budget, the less we experience going to that spot. Mum really doesn't enjoy going out of the house on weekends because it's the only she can rest at home - but sacrifices because she has an objective in mind in bringing us to Makati's premier social spot: to teach us the rigors of etiquette and social interactions.

Middle class children like us back then have very little time to socialize with the people of the other classes. It's all routine: house-school-house on weekdays and house-church-house on weekends...except when mum tells us it's time to go to Makati for shopping. We always look forward to that. We wear our Sunday's best - which was logical because we usually come from church before we go there. Greenbelt was THE place to be - well, that's where the restaurants usually are when we dine out. Most of the time, it's either national bookstore (for our school stuff) or Ansons (for replacing electronic gadgets that whoever our househelp that time broke) or Makati supermarket (for our household supplies) or Rustans for our clothes.

Except for groceries, mum really asks us what we want. If it passes her fancy (but actually, more on her budget), we go for it. Otherwise, she merely brought us to carry lighter packages. She'd bribe us with lunch before she could make us do it so we eat out every time.

If she's in a tight budget, we'll go to our favorite food chain. Jollibee was virtually unknown to us so we'd always go to KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken). That time, KFC wasn't the fast food type of service. I remember eating buns instead of rice when we buy the bucket. Actually, there were no bucket meals during that time so what I'm referring to is the real KFC bucket original recipe chicken (16 pieces) which is served with real warm gravy, coleslaw and buns. If we're well behaved, mum buys us the chocolate mousse for dessert. She'd teach us how to eat properly - like, not to make noisy chewing noises, holding the plastic utensils properly so it won't break, sipping drinks without the slurp, wiping the mouth after eating really oily food, etc.

If there's a special occasion (like we got a medal for academics or birthdays), we try out fine dining. The Jade Garden is where she'd take us for chinese food. She tried teaching us how to eat using chopsticks (even with rice!) but as young as I am that time, what's the point of eating with sticks when you can request for a spoon? There's Kimpura - a Japanese restaurant (also in Makati) where they cook your food in front of you - like the Shabu shabu restaurants do now. It was an amazing experience watching the chef do all the theatrics just cooking your fried rice: makes you wonder why mum looks bored when cooking our food. It was like our big final test when she took pains teaching us dining etiquette at the executive dining room of the Asian Development Bank.

If she wants to watch a movie, we'd go to the Quad cinema if it's a foreign flick - which is what she always makes us watch. Sometimes our older cousins who works at the Cucina Italiana brings us there. If it's locally made, we watch it at the ABC theater in Guadalupe. Most of the time, its ABC with her especially when we're to old to watch Disney movies.

If we buy a lot of stuff, we get to ride a taxi. That time, Metro Manila has two types of taxi - the airconditioned ones and the ones that rely on air alone. Airconditioned taxis are really expensive (the flag down rate is Php 2.50 if I remember it right) where ordinary taxis are cheaper. Personally, I like the ones with no aircon. I love it when a gently breeze blows wisps of long bangs on my forehead - covering my face entirely ala horror movie antagonist.

Going home was a relief for all of us, especially my siblings, because it's when we remove the airs we put on when we're in the metro. We throw all our cares and do what children usually do - play, fight, make up and eat food noisily...but of course, that happens when mum isn't around.

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